Indian Superhero Films

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This is not a post about movies I don’t like. This is a post about movies that I really wanted to like but they never let me do that.

Let me start with Krish 3. Or Krrish 3. Or Kkkrriisssshhhh 3. Whatever is the spelling of that. So much seems to have gone into the most beneficial spelling for the film, they didn’t have time to make an honest film.

I have not seen the film. I do not plan to waste my money on it. I can tell you from watching the trailers that this is a gross Hollywood scenes and ideas copy film. Also, there are way too many unnecessary angles about Hrithik-Priyanka romance. Also, Rakesh Roshan is severely limiting Hrithik’s career by making films that could have been path-breaking but are instead, dung.

The Krish Poster

The Krish Poster

The Avengers Poster

The Avengers Poster

Let me give general pointer tips for Indian Superhero Films, including the Krish films and Ra One.

Tip 1 – We do NOT need to copy from Hollywood EVERY single time.
We CAN come up with good original stuff. If YOU cannot, I am ready to give you some ideas for FREE, just so that I don’t have to be ashamed of being an Indian because of our film industry.
>>This includes the missing father angle in Ra One – we simply do not have as many missing dad homes as the target audience of Hollywood.
>>This includes X-Men copying in Krish. The Clark Kent disguises. The Superman-Lois Lane flying above the city shot. (I haven’t even watched the film)

Superman Lane 4Superman Lane 3Superman Lane 2Superman Lane

Krish PriyankaTip 2 – Let Superhero films be about SUPERHEROES!
This one is so obvious, I think the film makers tend to miss this. Also, if you think a family entertainer cannot be made without unnecessary crap like romance and songs, you are WRONG! Just because nobody has the balls to make one, doesn’t mean it cannot be made. If you don’t have balls, don’t make superhero films. It is just dishonest. We like Hollywood superhero films so much because they are superhero films, not films made while thinking the audience is too RETARDED to come watch the film if it does not have a romance angle to it.
>>Do not tell me Krish needed a heroine. He did NOT.
>>Ra One scriptwriters and Shahrukh forgot the movie was about a robot trying to be human and put in way too much of skimpy clad Kareena in it.

Tip 3 – Superhero films do not need half-NAKED women.
Seriously. Ask your mother, if you don’t believe me. They also do not need Genital, Sex, Biology, Marriage related jokes, because your primary target audience is kids. KIDS. What are you smoking to make such blaring mistakes?!
>>What is with Priyanka’s outfits in the movie? Is Krish in love with her or her THIGHS?
>>Ra One had so much of innuendo, I could not figure out what kind of kids the movie was made for. And the Chammakchallo song, how did it pass the Censor board?

Why?

Why?

Tip 4 – Please leave out the shitty humour.
Really. What is with the awesomely bad humour especially for superhero films. If you cannot write humour for kids, leave it. You don’t have to bring in innuendo. You don’t have to have too much slapstick. You don’t have to TEACH the audience to laugh by making the main characters laugh at the jokes first.

Krish, I have given up on. Ra One, supremely disappointed me. Although I am not a fan of Shahrukh Khan movies, as a man, he comes across as very industrious and that is something I respect. During the making of Ra One, I had read an interview of the Khan where he said he had to wear that suit for 10 hours each day and even going to the loo was difficult. Couple that with the insanely high budget for the film and I was really looking forward to it. Till they thought they needed an ITEM number to promote it.

I watched the film at home. It was a bad film. The script was poor. The acting was bad. The action scenes were too few. Who was the film made for? There were too many sexual references. Kareena needed more clothes. Chammakchallo should have been cut out. The humour scenes could have done without sexual references. If you think I am mentioning sex too often, imagine how much of it the movie had.

Chandani Chowk to China. I am an Akshay Kumar fan. No, not the Rowdy Rathore and Boss kinds. Haven’t even watched those at home. Considering CCtoC this was going to be India’s first martial arts films, I was VERY excited. The movie sucked. It wasn’t about martial arts. It was a bad script with a little martial arts in it. Akshay Kumar was visibly upset over the film having flopped, but it was a bad film. Deepika Padukone had a double role. One of the twins was introduced as very good at martial arts. If a character is said to have a particular quality in a story, that quality needs to be USED. In a martial art film, if a character is said to be kickass at martial arts, the character needs to be part of a major fight scene! But she wasn’t! Why the fuck!?

She never fought apart from in her intro!

She never fought apart from in her intro!

Like I said in the beginning of this piece, this isn’t about film bashing. I am not trying to get laughs or trying to sound cool. We are the biggest film makers in the world. We have millions of good screen writers. We also have script doctors. If you are making a film, at least attempt to make a good one. PLEASE do not ass lick to Hollywood and copy from there. We are not that bad. We can do good. I swear.

Follow me on twitter @squareandfair

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11 thoughts on “Indian Superhero Films

  1. There is a bollywood movie I really loved. Luck by chance. There is a scene in the movie where the acting teacher tells the class that they have to work very hard to be a hero in bollywood. A girl in the class asks him back – What about heroines? He is stumped, and then mumbles that heroines need to work hard too. I liked it because atleast the filmmakers were being honest.
    I agree with you. Sincere films are in short supply, and not just in hollywood. Great post.

    • Anish Vyavahare

      Correct! Sincerity, that is what is missing! We now have the budgets, we have the talent, we have the technical and marketing infrastructure! Now all we need is honesty…

  2. mukesh

    Good but the writer should watch the films before saying anything. I know it wont be different may be even worse but when you want a big audiance to read and approve please go through the pain. Hritik please assess why a movie like 3Idiots work or why ur first film worked

    • Anish Vyavahare

      I don’t think I would watch Krish 3 if I was paid to do it. I have seen Koi Mil Gaya and bits of Krish. That’s it. No more courage left. Leave me alone! Please! I don’t want to watch these! I will do anything you say! But not the films! Leave me!

  3. Chal yaar, in Koi Mil Gaya at least the guy acted well. Give him that. Baaki sab was crap, I agree.

    The main stream movie makers think us to be buffons. I’m sure there is blatant copying done in the movie. Also, the songs, dance, skimpy clothing and crass humour was dead-on.

    I like!

    • Anish Vyavahare

      See, my problem is I LIKE Hrithik Roshan and his potential that is being totally trampled upon by his father. If Hrithik Roshan was like Kumar Gaurav or Tushar Kapoor, I wouldn’t have given a damn about his films. Ditto with Akshay Kumar. I WANT them to do well. Hence, my problem with the films.

    • Anish Vyavahare

      Not the right films, the right attitude to make films. These guys are out to make money. Their medium is films. But there are those whose objective is to make a film and they make money through that. If you get the difference. Case in point – Farhan Akhtar, Anurag Kashyap, Dibakar Banerjee.

      Again, the problem with Koi Mil Gaya is it still is essentially a copy of ET. But, it is not a rip off like Krrish 3. It is a more honest film, definitely.

  4. Agree with everything you mentioned… And fortunately, like you, I did not even think of wasting my money on watching this pile of horsecrap. Worse still, this is COPIED horsecrap!!!
    Why do we need superheroes who dress like Batman, possess super-strength and other powers like Superman? Apna hi kuchh bana lo. Looking at Krissh and RA.One, I feel Rajnikanth’s ‘Robot’ was many notches higher. I am pretty sure that if Rakesh Roshan does not start introducing original material, even kids (like you said, the movie’s primary audience) will consider giving it a miss. Plus, I sincerely hope Krissh does not have to look more ridiculous by:

    1. Wearing that stupid raincoat (the bottom of which opens like malfunctioning parachute)
    2. Singing pathetically-made and career-ending songs (Rajesh Roshan’s career has ended already, only that his brother is too generous)
    3. Riding an imaginary aerial bicycle (seriously, what is the entire point of doing that? If you are flying learn it from Superman. If you are just taking leaps, learn from Hulk. Or just get a flying vehicle if you have no room for learning!)

  5. Anish Vyavahare

    True! For one, I really liked Nagraj and Super Commando Dhruv. They were pretty original in their story lines and character developments.
    Till recently.
    Now, even Nagraj has gone the way of Superman/Spiderman. Being a bumbling bespectacled journalist by day, crime fighter by night. Not cool.

  6. I completely agree with your take. But what I understand is we don’t lack ideas. What we lack is vision, intent and conviction to pull off a film void of an item song and slapstic sex jokes….something what Sujoy Gosh is seldom seen in India and that what i feel is the way forward.

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